What defines you?

I have spent a good amount of time with military wives. Whether it be chatting online, connecting through military wife support pages, or in person as friends or acquaintances.  One thing I have noticed is that a lot of said women define themselves as "a military wife or S/O."  When asked what they do, what their hobbies are, what they enjoy... I have heard so many answers such as "I'm just a military S/O, I support my husband/boyfriend...he's a soldier, I enjoy being a military wife/girlfriend that is what I do..." My question is, what does that mean?? Yes, I love being a military wife.  I chose this life and I don't regret it, but I wouldn't glorify it or wish it on someone else, because there are parts of it that are incredibly painful and hard.  We are proud women, but is there a line that needs to be drawn? In my eyes yes, there is.  We do not wear our husbands rank, they got to where there are whatever it took, blood sweat and tears... and while we stood by them every step of the way we are not any better than any other military spouse who has been there standing beside her man.  It seems so many of us find it so easy to let the term "military wife" define us, we miss out on the fact that we should be defining it.  I define military wife by being faithful, supportive, and loving no matter what.  I define it by being proud and understanding, when necessary.  I define "military wife" by pulling myself together and taking care of business while my husband is away... and at the same time I define it by allowing myself to fall apart when I just can't take it any more.  I define myself as a loving and devoted mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.  I define myself as compassionate, hard working, and genuine.  I do not however define myself as a military wife. This is simply food for thought, but I find it to be a legitimate question... can your actions define the label "military wife" or do you let it define you?

I don't know how many of my fellow ladies out  there have seen something similar to this, but I cannot count the number of times I've seen comments like "I need to find a sexy man in uniform" "really wish I could find a soldier to be with" "I hope someday I can be a military girlfriend/wife" ...... !@*$ NO. You don't.  You need to find a man who loves you unconditionally, a man who respects you, and a man whom you can respect and love, regardless of his occupation.  I hate to stereotype and I'm not usually one to do so, but women who make these types of comments are usually the tag chasers that love em' and leave em' because they didn't realize what they were getting into in the first place.  Combat boots or loafers, dog tags or stethoscope, ACUs, NWUs, BDUs or business suit... find a man that you can love for his soul.  Just as we shouldn't define each other as military wives, we shouldn't define our men as soldiers... because that would be implying that they're all the same.  There is a human being underneath that uniform, and if you happen to fall in love with a soldier, god bless you, but don't go out looking for one.

This topic really pulls at my heart strings because I have so many military friends that have had girlfriends/fiances/wives who were all about the military label until a deployment when they ended up cheating on or leaving their S/O while he was deployed because they didn't realize what a (pardon my french) bitch deployment would be.  Life won't give you anything you can't handle.. this I somewhat agree with. But when you fight fate and go out searching for something on your own, you better make sure you're prepared to handle it before you take on that responsibility.